"The Freak-Out" guest post by Sara Dzaman

Ever been in “that” situation? Ever been “that” mom? Ever ran out of a store, dragging and screaming a protesting child behind you, all the while hanging your head in shame? Don’t worry, we’ve all been there. I promise.

Ever since becoming a Mom over 4 years ago, I’m amazed at the amount of children I see on a day to day basis that have perfected the art of the “freak out”, as we call it in our house. The uncanny ability of a child to know just when it will embarrass their parent the most and when it’s most inconvenient. They seem to be born with a sense of just loud to scream, how hard to pound the ground and exactly how to make you want to dig a hole in the ground and crawl into it. Having a “spirited” child (as it was once declared, decades ago, before Ritalin, ADD and video games) is not a bad thing. Nor does it make you a bad parent.

I am of the firm belief that its how you deal with it that can change the behaviour. And trust me, I’ve seen it all. From the pleading and cajoling (PLEASE stop doing that now... PLEASE stop yelling... PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE). To the bribery (If you stop yelling right now I’ll buy you a toy/treat/cookie/new car/space ship/velvet painting of Elvis). To the outright abusive (SHUT UP! You are such a bad kid, whose are you anyways!?) To my personal favourite, the retaliation of the parents with the simple statement of “Girl for Sale” (I may or may not have heard this once or twice in my life), and which has the ability to stop even the most callous child in their tracks and think of the repercussions of being sold. Note: This tactic is only successful if your child is old enough to understand what “being sold” means. This would not work on a baby.... or a despondent teenager.

Even if you have a child who is a black belt in the art of the tantrums, there’s always hope for you! There are many forms of discipline, some extreme and others too modest. You have to do what’s best for your child. If a time-out works, use a time-out. If taking a toy away will help drive the point home, take a toy away. But remember to do what works for YOUR child. Not what Dr. Phil or Oprah says to do. And whatever method you choose to use to diffuse the situation, be consistent. Nothing is more confusing to a child than to have one parent do one thing and the other parent do another thing. Or to have you sit them in a time-out for an issue one day and the next day completely ignore them when it happens again. Children are like sponges. They will absolutely absorb anything and everything you say and do.

 And trust me. We’ve all been in the produce section of Superstore buying bananas and heard a child scream and drop to the ground in an act of defiance. So if and when it happens to you, the question is: How will you deal with it? Take a deep breath. Calm yourself. Look your child in the eye and sweetly whisper that you’ll sell them to the highest bidder if they do that again. A little extreme?? Oh well... seemed to work for me.

 

Sara DzamanBio of Sara Dzaman:
Sara Dzaman is a full time mother, part time social media junkie. She enjoys shoes, couponing and blogging for her own enjoyment. Sara and her husband Kirk live in Chilliwack where they are raising their 2 girls, Abby and Emma and are expecting #3 in March.

Sara runs http://momzone.webs.com and also write her own blogs, she is in between blogs currently but please check her out on twitter at @sara_dzaman.